Cooking, loving and hating by a regular inebriate, master thesis-dodger, pseudo-foodie and all-round trouble maker.

Wednesday 25 January 2012

Creeping doubt...


Every now and again I am seized by suffocating, overwhelming terror. I’d be absolutely fine all day and then just have moments of panic. It isn’t because I need medication, it’s because I take care of 28 horses.

Creeping doubts accumulate and seep through my mind unabated. Things I stubbornly refuse to let myself dwell on suddenly leap up to haunt me. Fears about the failing economy, African Horse Sickness, the cost of keeping old TBs. But then, as always the balm of thought: These aren’t riding horses, they are pasture ornaments here to have a happy retirement. I am organised and most of all I have been doing this since three years ago. The thing is, there are too many homeless horses in the world. I cannot afford to keep more. It is hard work taking care of us. I sincerely don’t hoard horses, I try to take care of no-hopers until they need to be PTS due to failing health.

Of course, these things are sparked by new developments. An old boarding client of mine has come up homeless. It is literally a question of take him on or he gets PTS. I love him, I’m terrified of him dying before his time without a gentle and relaxed retirement. His owner has tried for months to rehome him, no one wants him – even for free. He is a sensitive soul, his heart is easily broken. He likes treats and a wander about on lead. He should not be ridden. He is quiet and gentle. Yes, I am a bleeding heart. I know that arguments about whether or not we should just let these horses die in peace (PTS) or rescue them are heated and numerous.

It’s hard in Africa, I have heard stories of owners and breeders losing up to 20+ horses to horse sickness in a single season. We have tick-borne diseases, horse sickness, West Nile virus – you name it. Making the decision whether or not to pour resources into poor communities and help them properly tack, dip, care for their working animals or rescuing like I do is a very hard ask. It would be cheaper and easier to pour money into cart horses and help there. But I don’t think that form of help is sustainable, as opposed to literally and meaningfully reaching in a changing the lives of animals who’d otherwise be PTS or live neglected. Maybe I am misguided?

There is an upside to Africa too, our weather is rarely severe (apart from the heat) and as long as you have shade and shelter horses can live out all year long. That cuts costs tremendously. We still rug in winter – even though some local horse owners think we are mad. We also stable some horses who are older, who are more delicate. Loads of the ponies who have come to us are hardy, they stay fat on grass and need little extra feeding. Our vet is kind and lets us pay her off, our farrier helps us at a massively discounted rate. Our grooms take good, loving care of the animals in their charge. These are the people we all owe so much to. These are the people who make it all happen. Go team, all the way!

Our glow-ponies at green grass

 I think sometimes I just want to know I am doing the right thing.

What, dear intertrons, am I going to do about our homeless bloke? 

Here he is, sorry for the rotten cellphone picture:
Having a visit on the lead, I'm watching from the porch


4 comments:

  1. Very educational post. Let me tell you that you are doing the right thing! But with doing the right thing comes so much responsibility. Some of our health challenges in North America are similar to yours and are more prevalent in different areas depending on climate. Here in Ontario, Canada, the cold winters are actually a blessing in some ways; the freezing temperatures kill bacteria and insects.

    BTW, there is a little award for you at my blog. :-)

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  2. Heya Wolfie! Thanks so much for the award, I'd better get thinking (and reading) about who I am going to pass it on to! So excited! ;) I really appreciate it. So I've decided to go load our homeless bloke next week. I know the owner and I know her reasons for wanting to PTS unless he comes to us - she is a good person who understands the risks of sending a horse onto any sort of uncertain future. So for my birthday next week, I'm fetching an old friend, I'll keep you up to date with his progress. Our grooms will be happy to see him again, they polished and mane-and-tail conditioned the heck out of him before he left - and with a heavy heart. PS: I know about bugs, Tristan's parents kindly had us subscribed to American Horse Illustrated (they live in the States). I'm assuming you guys in Canada face loads of the same problems as in the States. It's wild how many challenges horse owners face - all across the world. We had snow last year winter after an appalling AHS season in which many many horses died. I think many horse owners did a small happy dance when the snow came down, knowing that the vector (midges) who carry the disease would die in the cold. I'll tell you in a post one day all about our rescue mare (broodmare from a TB stud) with all her unique health problems, who fell ill with the acute form of AHS last year, and against all odds survived.

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  3. While one can't save them all, you are doing an amazing amount of work with what you have. I'm glad to hear the boy is headed home.

    It's remarkable the number of afflictions horses fall prey to, and how fragile life is despite how robust it appears.

    Enjoyed finding you, look forward to reading more...

    Wish I could come by for cake!

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  4. Thanks so much Breathe! You know I read somewhere once that 'a horse is an iron butterfly' - I think that's true with regards to afflictions. Thanks for the support and the lovely comments.

    PS: wouldn't it be great if we could overnight post a cake? If you are going to go through the trouble to post anything overnight, there is no better cause than cake.

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