All that glitters!

DOWN chips are a good way to decide if you have made the right decisions in life.

As it turns out, I have.

Vet bill bonanza (the latest being Bishop trying to make a jump into an adjoining camp and landing up on a dropper) has seriously hamstrung us financially. Of course it doesn't help that things aren't great at work.

And yet, we come through. I feel like we have found loads to love in little things. The orchids and other household plants affirm my love of caring for living things. They are glorious. As it happens I only ever purchased two orchids but I am caring for six - all those unwanted birthday gifts left to wilt and then passed off to someone who is interested.

I have managed to save them all convincingly. I also care for two succulents, a pretty bonsai, two strange flowery plants and a love bamboo. And that's just in JHB. On the farm I have every plant Silman and I put into the ground. All that jasmine, lavender, herbs, veg, succulents, daisies, dianella, wild garlic, saplings, irises (almost time for them to bloom) the list is endless. With the help of my fantastic groom and all-round excellent person Silman. He deserves a picture on here, I'll remember to take one.

Last night I was lying in bed while Tristan read Lovecraft out loud to me. I fell asleep eventually and slept until this morning. It was glorious! My first proper sleep since spring leapt upon us. In fact I'd argue summer is here entirely.

Later we shoot off to the farm so I have to get my bags packed. I can't wait.

love, pub quizzing, picnics and other memories

WARNING: this post rambles.

I have been loathe to sit down and write a blog. We have really been living - eating terribly and drinking too much. It saps your energy levels and seriously ruins your sleeping patterns. Guys, I am totally going to own the fact that my new love is chicken and mayo pizza and that my diet has gone out the window.

 I know you have been rooting for me Wolfie, so I'll add that we are going to start training for a marathon soon - in aid of mobile mammography trucks to travel out to less advantaged communities and get those women some much-need early detection facilities and educate them. I am PUMPED to be a part of it :)

I have been ablaze with ideas for my masters, but I ran out of momentum lately. A long farm visit and a few wonderful memories an amazing experiences to throw into the memory banks have derailed my obsessive thinking and I happen to think that might be a good thing.

But of course, knowing me, the process was riddled with the odd calamity or three. And some of them were rather shameful. Shameful or not though, we have to make time to create new memories.

On the topic of memories I am cooking this blog post inspired by the 40 Days of Dating saga that lead me to ask a few exes about our relationship - with the aim of posting it here and talking more about past experiences and LOVE (a key aspect of this blog). The responses were a mixed bag. One wonderful account that literally had me smiling, one encounter with a douche bag I can't believe I felt anything for and a new discovery on my journey with Tristan. Amazing heh? More on this later.

So Monday we snuck out of work early to go and have a picnic in the park. We took a few bottles of beer, a cooler box, loaded Big Dog into the car and picked up pizza en route. We had a wonderful time. Unfortunately where we decided to set down all our gear was FAR away from any, erm...ablution facilities.

I got to know that tree a little better later during the picnic

What were we thinking??

I need to ditch this filthy habit

But we got some serious relaxing done

Seriously, this guy slept through most of the picnic

We had trekked to the far corner of the park with a heavy bag containing extra layers of clothing, sunglasses, hand sanitizers, napkins you name it we had it, a heavy cooler box, a bucket with a 5 litre supply of water for Big Dog and some doggy treats for him, my massive camera bag, our matchy hats that make us look like a lame couple, a big heavy duvet, the box containing our pizza lunch and probably a few other things I forgot about. It was heaps of stuff to trek away to the bathroom.

Ooooh yes, we have cheesy matchy hats!

 So I did it, I peed behind a tree. It was liberating... and I never want to do it again!

Then, last night we went out to dinner, got a little tipsy and decided to do a quiz. A pub quiz. I am ashamed to admit we are no good at quizzes and we came last along with three other teams. Ahahahaha! Look, I don't know anything about rappers or how many babies Gwen Stefani has had - so I don't feel too bad about it.

(Un)Dead Parrots will be back for a rematch next week, sporting a third team member. The nerd is strong in that one

 I think All My Friends Suck came first, so there you go. But of course the two-prong team that comprised (Un)Dead Parrots has a serious set-back in the second to last round. As my guts started to ache immeasurably and I felt an overwhelming burn in my stomach I at once realised my chicken might have been passed it's sell-by date. That's right, I was started to go through the first stages of food poisoning. Right there! The plot thickens. I needed to dash off to the loo too many times, and when we got home the party started in earnest. I haven't been to work today and suffice it to say I am full of medicine and glucose energy drinks.

Le Sigh!

Stay tuned for the second instalment - we will rise again!

Farm scenes...

Adolf of the Goofy Smile

Bishop samples some tree, always getting into things this boy

Hey life, give us lemons already - I'd like to use them in my cooking

The origanum has found interesting ways to grow

Sun sets over the farm

Farm cows

Chocolate cake

Fat cat

Seeking shade

Beautiful Special

Mind my crusty halter it still works, Paddy rescued from the SPCA (twice, once quite literally) in 2009 decked out in his winter woolies

The half brothers: Phat Louie and Joe, draught horse crosses

Coming up for air

COMING up for air is harder than it sounds. It’s like running into a brick wall. It hurts, it makes you want to give up.

My meds clearly need some adjusting. I want to sit at home and not go out to see the sun. I don’t want to do anything. I am afraid of everything. I have to force myself to be in the world. Sometimes Tristan has to cheer me on. It’s humiliating.

I feel at ease in my bed. In all that green of the walls and blue of the sky and the orchid with a brand new spike, two others flowering still (after so many months) and two that I am trying to breathe life into. I am confident one won’t make it. The air rushes through the white curtains, gusts and gusts of wind. Those cheap white curtains look almost bridal. One has a huge browns stain at the bottom and its hem is in tatters. Adolf does that to curtains.

With all the heavy losses we have suffered over the last two years I have become a ball of nerves. Who’s next? Who else will die? What other incredibly rare malady will hit? I think of Prince who is 30. His eyesight going. I think of how cold he gets in winter and how carefully we always need to feed him. I worry. All.The.Time. I think of the chickens.

 I think that I think too much.

Be brave dear friends. Try to be brave.

On 'strictlers'...

WORD to the wise; when trying to recruit a brilliant copy editor don't ask for a 'strictler for facts' in your brief. This will make those truly OCD copy monsters (the best sort of proof readers) squirm with discomfort.

And yes, this is a true story!

I worked as a sub editor for some time and during that period I learnt that the best copy editors work with capable journalists. Literally just capable, not brilliant. The ability to write two paragraphs without changing tenses eight times will greatly alleviate a copy editor's work load. The ability to spell everyday words such as National Geographic (and not National Georgraphic) will really lessen the tension in your average editor's life.

So when HR posts a brief that they got from an editor (ahhhh yes, you can bet your bottom dollar!) with a spelling error then you know you are in for a nightmare. Actually let me rephrase that: I'd like to say 'spelling error' but let's face it, 'strictler' is not a word. I won't confine that mistake to the realm of spelling, I'll let it ooze over into the realm of, ahh you know...life in general. Seriously interwebz, if you could see my face right now... I look like I have a foul smell stuck to my face.

So of course, for the sake of brevity, I replied to the lady in question and pointed out that 'strictler' is not a word. I don't expect a 'thank you'. It's eminently more possible that I shall receive a 'tank you'.

Don't misunderstand me, I am NOT a pedant. I am not some letter-writing maniac who complains about every mistake and is a complete stickler for facts (see what I did there?). NO! I just have a hard time coming to terms with someone trying to recruit a proof reader when they can't spell. How do they propose to test the mettle of their applicants? Because clearly Microsoft has failed them already.

It's a tough time out there folks...yes it is.

Oef!

Still coming to terms with the loss of baby girl, and it has been rough. Like always though, when it rains it really pours. I have flu, some strange energy-sapping strain. I am not surprised because I am not built for winter at all. Happily, I spied a handful of naive blossoms on the tree outside. Perhaps things will turn sweeter again soon.

Today I'll be hunting for my camera charger because I miss taking pictures.I have also been busy thesis-ing and I am so so grateful to the university and to my Prof for keeping me busy and out of trouble. My prof recently lost his beloved, aged, special needs cat and after mourning for a while he was ready to take on a new companion. I hooked him up with a wonderful welfarist who runs an awesome no-kill organisation where, after home checks etc, he decided to adopt THREE lovely, joyous kittens. He named the Viola, Sebastian and Ferdi - after the characters once lost and then found. He is THRILLED with them. When next we visited he had cat scratch posts and anti-ant bowls and the works. And they are too gorgeous.

I suppose if we look hard enough, we'll find joy and love and beauty SOMEWHERE. And knowing that spring is coming makes it easier to look forward.

PS: I recently attended my cousin's wedding in the frock Jane helped me pick out many moons ago. Sans the shape wear and her fresh, excellent advice I struggled to get into it. I remember now why I hate it so much! Just a few days before the wedding I noticed the store where Jane worked and the frock was purchased burnt to the ground (no injury or loss of life). I think that the inventors of 'bridal sizing' should see this as an omen.

Love + relics

Flowers! Can you imagine? Maybe someone does read my blog after all :)

They are sitting there brightening up my pilfered bookshelf, right next to my pilfered chair next to the hand-me-down dining room table. I arranged them in those two hand-me-down vases no one had a use for. The glass giraffe is the only surviving one of a pair purchased in the Kruger National Park when I was a child. Old, and still awesome. I love our things, as ramshackle as they are.

And look at my favourite BREAKFAST. Seriously, breakfast food is my absolute favourite. This scrummy plate was served to me right on the couch. I am very spoilt.

Seed loaf Fench toasts with cheddar and a liberal dollop of tomato sauce. Tristan makes them the absolute best. The story, however, is that stoneware plate with the Dutch design. I loved these plates the minute my parents bought them in the very very early 90s. I thought they were lost, little did I know Oumie had them and she carefully kept them all these years. Finding them after they cleared out her flat was like finding a present. Six perfect plates and side plates. I remember lugging them to school as a youngster for our 'restaurant day' and our wonderful English teacher telling me how beautiful they are. Years later, they are our everyday plates, and I still think they are beautiful.